Wednesday, August 22, 2012

This Guy

Amazingly, with all of these pregnancy hormones, I have yet to run into the "will-I-have-enough-love-for-more-than-one-child" irrational thought. I am, however, starting to mourn the loss of the relationship that Bennett &I have right now. It's generally just Bennett & me for 60+ hours a week &obviously adding another little person to the mix will change things.

 Honestly, Bennett is awesome with babies. I've been watching a little baby a few days a week this summer & Bennett is fantastic with him. He's so gentle and caring. He helps me get diapers & always tries to bring the baby a toy when he's fussy. I know that things will be different when his brother doesn't go home at the end of the day, but we've been talking about that a lot &I'm not anticipating many issues with Bennett vs. least not until Silas can voice his opinion on things.  If anything, I think that Bennett will act out against me.

 I do wonder what he will think about me loving on another little person like I love him. I try really hard while I'm babysitting not to sing the special songs that Bennett and I sing together, or call the baby any special names that I have for Bennett, but I'm not going to be as careful about those sorts of things with Silas.

 Last night, I asked Bennett if there were any special things that he wanted to do with just me before Silas comes. I know that he doesn't really understand what's about to happen, but I want to try to fill the next few weeks with fun things that he & I can do that we won't be able to do as easily for a while with a baby. He told me that he wants to pick out a dinosaur for Baby Silas before he comes. Sure, bud, we can pick out a dinosaur for Silas...but what about you? Then we talked about how Silas won't go "home" like the baby who comes now, because this will be his home & Mommy & Daddy will be Silas' mommy & daddy. Who knows how much of this he's really getting, but I can try, right?

 Then Bennett prayed and thanked God for his little brother. "Dear God. This is my mommy, and this is Baby Silas. Thank you for my brother." I died. I'm so excited for Bennett to have a built-in playmate. I just hope that I can get life balanced enough to be able to still do special things alone with Bennett too.

This post is all over the place. Really, I'm just going to miss all the one-on-one time with this amazing little boy. If anyone has suggestions for things for us to do before Silas comes, I'd really appreciate the input!


  1. I worried about the same exact things Shannon. It was so hard because I had nothing to compare these thoughts and feelings against. The night before H was born I had the worst anxiety because it was probably the biggest challenge and change yet to our family. To be honest it was really tough. Lyv was 28 months when he was born and up until that point she was so good and excited, when she met him, she told me she hated me :( But after that one incident it was fine. And the moment you hold that new baby your heart swells twice the size, and you just naturally prioritize and somehow it all falls into place. I will be praying for you as I know how hard this transition is. Blessings!

    1. Thanks, Nicole! Bennett will be 30 months, so about the same age as Alyvia. Things are definitely about to change. :)